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Interracial couple in Washington DC
I am going to get straight to the point with this one. I am a dark, average height, bald headed black man with a beautiful smile (so I am told) and a nice physique. With that being said, the stigma that I get is that I do not date sisters. I have been told that I look like the type that only dates white women. Not true, however most guys that fit my physical description do. I kind of wanted to dive into that some. So why do so many black men date white women? It may get a little touchy here but it is what it is and this is what I got from some of the men living this reality. Here are the top 3 reasons.

1. White women are easier to deal with. There are no over the top semantics that drive some brothers crazy with white women. Upon meeting a white woman, there is no trying to impress her with your wardrobe, shoes, etc. White women actually take the time to talk to you and carry on a conversation and not judge a person based on his physical appearance. They actually get to know the person before the appearance. Brothers feel that in order to get a sister’s attention they have to be wearing over priced clothes, wearing expensive colognes, and meet a certain “type” that they like. In any case, you might not be tall enough, dark enough, light enough, clothes aren’t the right type; something. This automatically dismisses you in some sisters’ eyes. Black women have a certain “type” and most don’t break this type casting until they realize that the types that they are into aren’t any good or just not a viable long term solution. White women look for intrinsic qualities that are embedded deep within. Their man might not be the best looker but he is good to them. White women like it rough, and I am not talking about in the bedroom. So what if you don’t shave. The way they see it is that in 30 years everyone will look the same.

2. White women do not try to change men. One of the biggest things I heard is that white women will not try to change their man. They know what they sign up for when they get into the relationship. If they are with a player, they know it. If they are with a sloth, they know it. If they are with a drunk, they know it. If they have a partier, they know it. Sisters: if they have a player, they can change him. If they have a sloth, they can change him. If they have a drunk, they can change him. If they have a partier, they can change him. Fact is no one can change a man. A man can only change himself. Most change when a white woman is involved because she is not pressuring him to do so. The brother soons realize that his woman, the white woman, just wants him to be himself. So he, himself, gradually changes for the better. Now the sister is pressuring him to change and let’s face it, us black men are stubborn as hell. The more you push the more we push back. It’s basic physics; equal and opposite reaction. The force that you, as a sister, are putting on us to change is the same force we are going to apply on you not to change. So the result is that we get nowhere.

3. White women are supportive. One of the most desirable reasons for a black man dating a white woman is that white women are supportive. White women will support there man in whatever he wants to do. They never do what some sisters do and belittle the man. Sisters talks much junk to their men especially when they think their men are not living up to their potential. When sisters tell their man he “aint” nothing, or when is he gonna do something with his life, or they can do much better than him, some men believe that and that’s the persona that they take on. And have you ever noticed that when his persona changes and he gets a little confidence he always leaves the one he’s with. Not a coincidence. Now he feels like he can do better than her and he leaves. On the contrary, white women grow, or atleast pretend to grow, with their mate. No down talking, only uplifting. A little confidence can go along way with a man. As much as we don’t want to admit it, we like our woman to stroke our egos a little. It makes us feel, well like we can overcome anything.

These are just a few reasons why black men date white women. Some others were that white women are more submissive and understanding. The one that really stuck out to me though was that white women do not put brothers through the ropes if they have a kid and the relationship doesn’t work. Meaning they do not try to dangle the kid over their heads like a carrot. Anyway, sisters this is just an opinionated synopsis and is not a depiction of all sisters or white women. Myself, I love me some sisters, but I also have seen the way some sisters treat their men. In most cases good men. I hear sisters say they want to be treated like a queen, but in order to be treated as such you have to present yourself as someone worthy of holding the throne, someone of royalty, otherwise you are just going to be the concubine until the real queen comes along. And she just might be a white queen.

Jock

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30 thoughts on “Why Black Men Date White Women

  1. You know thats crazy you just label white women like that, but I am far from being nothing less than what she is. I respect your decision date anyone you choose. But also remember NOT ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME! I am a 29 year old educated Black woman, in the military, in school, and can hold my own. Every bill I have is in my name and so is my car thats PAID FOR. Most men I run into can’t deal with such an independent woman as myself and they can’t handle the strength that comes with a black woman. Don’t get me wrong all races have their own identifying strength, but you felt the need to seperate black vs white.

    You are right white women are easier to deal with because Black women will NOT put up with a man not just a black mans’ TRASH. We force you to be accountable for romance, courtesy, respect, and dignity. Most of all we make you accountable for YOU!!! Most black men are out here looking for a handout. Accept the truth when its due. Most women won’t tell you, you are’t nothing especially when you are trying to get out there and make something of yourself. Hey I understand many fall below the standard and its hard, but just as I did man can do the same. Being submissive works both ways, when have you ever tried cooking for your woman, maybe washing her in the bath, bringing her lunch, or maybe doing a strip tease show for her when she gets off work. I like to feel special as well so really??

    Simple as this, i love hard and play even harder. I work hard to play even harder. I only ask for a man to support me as I do him and respect me in every aspect as I do. That seems to be hard for most men. I do not have time and will not make time to be anyones’ mother or care taker. I do not mind having my mans back when he gets into a corner but he has to be doing something for himself as well. When he is wrong I will tell him hes wrong and i would expect for him to do the same. I do not know what kind of women you have dated but obviously they were below the standard! There are too many educated Sisters out here for you to fit them ALL into a category. I respect interracial relationships, you love who you want and cherish as you please; my problem comes in when you down the other race because of your CHOICES…I know I am a good woman all I ask is for the same in return and be a good man!!! Good luck on your relationships, hope you make better choices in the future.

    • Nesi, sweetheart this article is not about me or my dating preference. Just what I have been hearing from a bunch of my male friends over the years. There was nothing bad or any downplaying of any race here in my opinion. I did realize that this was going to rub some sisters the wrong way. Hell I am asked constantly why to black men like white women by sisters all of he time, so I asked my black friends that date white women. These are the results I have. Fact is you are just going to have to choose your partner wisely, no matter the nationality. There are bad women of all races, I can honestly say that. Thanks for reading.

  2. Let me first say I am not at all offended by your article in fact I’m entertained by it. You see I’m happy that “SOME” White Woman have settled for our “black boys”. I applaud them for putting in all that time, effort and patience; to groom and feed them like children, to allow them to be players and under achievers while they (black boys) on their own time make up their minds to do or be someone better.

    I am a bronzed, average height, loc wearing black woman. I have a beautiful smile and a beautiful body (I know this). I am also educated, financially stable, independent and dating. I have dated in and out of my race and my preference is “Black Men” not boys. While I was busting my ass studying, networking, paying my dues and working hard to get everything that I have “black boys” called me conceited and a bitch while “White Men” were drawn to me like mosquito’s to fire; However it is because of men like my Father, Brother and Uncles that I prefer to date “Black Men”.

    Educated, physically stable, mentally stable, faith stable, financially stable, uplifting, and driven Black Men is what I and other “Black Woman” are drawn to. Those are the men I am willing to share my home, my opportunities, my mind, my time and support, my life with. The Black Men that are not fearful I will challenge them in conversation or debate, the Black Men that are not fearful of my outer appearance, The Black Men that are not fearful that I am more financially stable than he, The Black Men that are not fearful of new opportunities (A job, or education), The Black Men that work hard in construction and labor, social services, the board room, Wall Street or street cleaning (driven) Is what we are looking for.

    Thank you Author for finally giving White Woman the accolades they deserve for taking on the tedious task of nursing the “black boys” while making it easier for me and other Black Woman to choose a “Black Man”.

    • I Am a Queen,

      Thanks for reading. I guess I can rebuttle to your comments. I knew that a response like yours would come so I was way ahead of the game. I am actually smiling as I write this because of that. You refer to the white women having “black boys.” From what I see though the “black men” are the ones with the white women. The guys that I know or talked to on this issue were not “boys.” They were fully grown black men. Fully grown spiritually, financially and are family “men”. You see these black men put up with the black “girls” early on in their lives. Black “girls” are the reason why they went to white “women.” These very “men” were not the most popular at times, they were not always successful, they were not always spiritual. The black “girls” saw them for what they were at the time and automatically dismissed them. However, the white girls saw them for what they could be. It wasn’t about turning a boy into a man. These men were just down on their luck, or just didn’t capacitize their abilities for whatever reason, but were still good men. No players, no under achievers, just a black man that hadn’t made it……yet.

      Now you say that you are an educated, stable (mentally, financially, and spiritually), independent, yet you are still call concieted and a bitch by black men, but white men flock to you. I can’t speak for the black men that have called you that, but I can speak for myself. Though it may not be you those are the qualities that make some black women look down on black men. It’s happened to me and probably most of the black men that are with white women. I can not tell you how many times that I have just spoken to a black “woman” with your credentials and automatically get the cold shoulder, the annoyed look, get the fuck out of here look. Women with your credentials are automatically defensive and think that we black “men”, notice I didn’t say boys, want something from them. I am not saying that this has happened with all of the black women with your credentials but more times than not it has. Now the white women with your credentials are easy going. I have spoken to plenty of them in my ball clothes, no shave, and looking like a broke person, but rather than being dissmissive they would atleast hold a conversation and try to figure out some things about me before formulating an opinion. You may not be a conceited bitch but their are alot of black women with your credential that are. There are some that are white too but in my experiences far less.

      With these white women there is no nursing of these black “boys” because they were already men, but since we want to the stick term “boys” I will. The white women just took these abused “boys” and made it easier for them to choose “white” women as their “wives.” Again, thanks for reading and I look forward to “debatting” with you in the future.

      • Hello Jockurmind24

        The Black Men you speak of now are not the “Black Men” you spoke of yesterday. While I am not aware of the circle you run in “YOU” described the “Black Men” that white women so patiently deal with as players, sloths, drunks and partiers, not I. I just assumed those were the “Black boys” you consorted with for your article. Now that you have clarified things for me, let me get to the point.
        Your comment “…Black Men put up with Black Girls …” hmm “…Put up with” Wow! Please clarify for me if you are speaking of the black girls that grew up in “our” neighborhoods subject to the same adversities that black boys were subjected to? Are you speaking of the black girls that were called to dark, to light, to round, to skinny, to nappy headed to gain the attention of black boys? Are you speaking of the black girls that have been ridiculed, chastised, raped in some form and persecuted by all RACES including the race of yours truly? Are you talking about the black girls that have raised you son or little brother, when she could barely take care of herself? Are those the black girl your black men are saying chased them into the arms of white women?
        Oh whoa is he… the little black boy that was called ugly, homey and stupid and because of this has run off into the arms of white women that have held them in such high regards as Mandingo’s. Please! Black men give yourselves more credit than that lame excuse. Black woman have and still endure worse (usually by black men) and still remain faithful to black men.
        You see! Black girls and boys didn’t grow up “Easy”; everything we have wasn’t acquired “Easily”; so don’t expect us to be “Easy” when choosing who we want to be with. I dare you insult Black men by saying they have taken up with “Easy” white women because black girls have made it so “hard”. All we know as a race is “Hard”. I dare you elude that our Black men have become so weak mentally that because of name calling they have turned their back on their black women. Trust me you have been called worse by the same “Easy” going white women you have made your wives.
        It is not because of my credentials that black boys dressed as men call me out of my name and run off with women of other races, it’s because of FEAR! Which I pointed out in my 1st comment (Maybe you were so ahead of the game and anxious to get out your excuses [an explanation offered as a reason for being excused] that you didn’t read that part). Fear and excuses is not what black women are looking for in any mate. There is no stability in Fear and Excuses. Black women don’t look down on Black men we hold you accountable to a higher standard, that’s the why we’re so hard on you. We want you to look your best, smell your best and present your best, because like you (Black man) Black Women have not always looked our best, smelled our best, and presented ourselves the best; that’s what we have in common. Don’t be upset that when black girls rise above their ugly and smelly conditions and become clean and beautiful black women; we want the same for you.
        In conclusion, I and many black women can careless who black men marry. What we do care about is the constant put down and excuses given by our black men to justify your decision to marry women of other races. Be a “MAN” say “This is the women I fell in love with and that’s why I married her”. When black women take White men as their husbands we don’t seek justification…”This is the man I fell in love with…period” That’s all the excuse you’re getting.

        Thank you Author for responding to my comment, this has been a healthy conversation. And I would encourage more of us to indulge in such conversations so that we can become less fearful of each other.

      • To some extent, the generalizations about white women in this context are correct but mainly because they do not have the experience Of black women. white are told every day that they represent the image of beauty by every facet of media. But I noticed that Queen addressed things like career, job, independence and very little about character, love etc. do you want independence or partnership? Women who brag about Independence and strength sometimes are lonely and bitter. Men want femininity not a fight on every issue. Some women need to stop allowing past hurts to block potential relationships. Black people have internalized so much of the pain we experience in the “free America that it hampers our quest for good relationships. its a heart thing not a skin thing. Although culture does have an impact, each person has the authority who they want. I hope the best for you Queen

  3. Hmmmm, I am Queen.

    Your synopsis is based solely off your interpretations. You mentioned some things that are true in some cases, but your assumptions were not what matriculated thru my keyboard onto your computer screen. And yes I did read your Fear comment but it’s your interpretation. However inorder for someone to be “fearful” of someone or something that fear had to be placed there, either passed down or from personal experience. Fear is learned. Maybe some was passed down but some of it was first hand. So at some point “highly accredited black women” put that fear there.

    When I referred to black “girls” I was not talking about either that you mentioned. All people have pasts and if I were judged on that then I’d be screwed. The “Girls” I was referring to are the ones that say they wanted a good man but can not see the man that is in front of them is a good man. Which I assumed the black “boys” you were talking about were immature grown men. Same with the women.

    There are no excuses for marrying a black white woman, they are facts in the eyes of these men. For them to marry a white woman and put up with the scrutiny that comes with its suggests that he loves her. But in order to get to that point there had to be an attraction at some point and typically it’s not all a physical attraction. Black women didn’t do it for these men. Doesn’t make them weak or fearful. Just mean they didn’t see what they wanted in a black woman.

  4. My synopsis is based on the information you have provided, as I have only quoted “Your” text ;)

    One of the powers of the pen is that the pen can be so Loud and seldom have a Tone and no one can Silence it.
    ~TVC

    • One of the powers of the pen is to also change tone or meaning based on the person that’s reading it. One sentence can be interpreted many different ways by many different people. So your synopsis is based on your interpretation of my text.

  5. Well well Jock….looks like you touched a few nerves with this one! :-) While I can see why some men may feel the way they do, I fail to understand why all black women are lumped into the same categories.
    Ask your friends the next time you talk to them if maybe they were just dating the wrong black women????
    Here’s what I know…for every loud and obnoxious sister…there is a calm and mild mannered queen. For every, unsupportive, feircely independent sister there is an equally independent yet submissive queen. For every black women who tries to change a black man, maybe she see’s a potential that not even he knows and maybe..,just maybe, he should bend a little and see where it takes him.
    I’m never one to be offended by the misguided opinion of others so I will simply say this…no one should limit thier dating pool by way of race. Look deep enough and I’m sure we’ll all find that we aren’t 100% anything so who cares who you choose to date. Just warn your friends not to become too blinded by what they “think” black women are and have them missing a queen for a Becky that won’t help nor hinder him.
    My irritation is with the men who swear off of black women because of the handful that you’ve dated. If one could tell me that they dated more than 50% of the population then maybe I’d be a bit more apt to believe that white women posses some secret to pleasing a black man that my sistas dont.

    • I have asked those questions and maybe they were dating the wrong black women. A few bad experiences shouldn’t hinder them for life. This is just what they prefer. Kinda similar to some women only dating tall men, dark men, light-skinned men, hell and even white men. I know some black women that only date white men. I could do a segment on all of these one a month and the questions as to why will never be answered. I have been told I’m too dark, too big, too short. I really don’t give a damn. I’m me and someone wants what I have to offer. There’s always some prejudices and what I wrote about happens to be one of them. Some people are just naive like that.

  6. Woah, Woah, Wait a minute, wait a minute. I read the article and the comments and I’ve heard the examples given before. Sadly to say, with some black women wanting the best for the black man the communication does not come across in the best way. Yelling, screaming and calling your black man names when he already has issues to deal with is not a wise and loving choice. Unless, your man really is no good. With that being said, black men have been through a lot throughout history and some are still faced with prejudice and / or racism today. Look at the Romney and Obama campaign. Everyone knew (including the Romney’s wife along with the majority of the white race) that Romney wasn’t a better candidate. But some of white America would rather have an inexperienced, uneducated (don’t care how many Degree’s he has) white man in the white house to run our country than to have an educated, experienced black man to help give us a better land. Doesn’t that tell you something? If that happened publicly for all the world to see, imagine what our black men are going through on their jobs and other places. They have enough to face and after trying to prove themselves on the job in order to get a promotion or raise that will probably just be handed to their white colleague, the last thing they want to come to in a relationship is someone telling them what they’re always doing wrong or what they’re not. Weather if women want to believe it or not men have feelings and hurt too. We all want to be loved and the beginning to that happening is to be understanding and loving.

    All black men are not bad. And the last thing I want to do is to use my education, knowledge, experience, status and credentials to put my man down. Yes, I want my man to be able to take care of me. Yes, I want my man to be successful and prosperous and Yes, I want my man to be able to teach me things that I don’t know. But one thing I do know is that in order for my man to be the best that he can be I will have to be supportive, encouraging and willing to help him. Relationships are basically two people coming together that care for one another but needs some work. And if you truly love someone and want to be with someone you will help them to shine the way you want to shine and putting them down and always pointing out their shortcomings and faults is not the way.

    This subject is sensitive to me because my father is a good black man. And to see black men be put-down, mistreated, ignored and disrespected is inappropriate behavior for someone in a “relationship”, it burns me up. There are a lot of good black men out there that want to be in a relationship just like women. But where are the black women that can see the good and help the black man to become all he can be, instead of seeing what’s he’s not? You know when God created Eve, he created a helpmate. Adam was first then Eve and if Eve stayed by Adam’s side she wouldn’t have been tricked & caused them their downfall. Please don’t be the reason why your man falls. Ok, so some black men may need help. But don’t we all? Yes, in one way or another we do. So be the woman that is willing to help him and not the one
    that yelling “You need help!!!”

    It does break my heart though that some black men use the excuse as to why they go to white women. Some black men may just prefer white women for whatever reason. And with that being the case that’s their choice. If that’s who he prefers I’m not going I wish him the best in his relationship. One thing I will say and what I want black women to REALLY get is submitting to your man (if he is respecting you) does not mean you are weak. You’re supposed to see yourselves as a team and not competition. If your man doesn’t have a degree and you do and you can see his potential, inspire him to go back to school or help him to start a business. Like Eve, don’t go off on your own and think you know better, be by each other’s side and help one another to become better.

    Please believe me when I say, if you have a GOOD MAN (in this case a good black man) when you honor him, esteem him, help him and show your care for him he will always be the man of your dreams and isn’t that the relationship you want?

    So Ladies, don’t worry if a black man goes to a white woman. If he’s the type that only wants to use women or feels like black women aren’t good enough for him, let him go because you don’t want anyone like that anyway. BUT if you lost a good black man because you weren’t supportive, didn’t help him or believe in his dreams or constantly complained about what he’s not doing or you just thought you were so much better than him. Well, I hope you learned your lesson. Don’t be an EVE. But the tree that has strong roots that produces good fruit your man craves.

    • Nakesha so we meet again, lol. Great Synopsis. There are some pressures as a Black Man that we have only a daily basis. Most of us are stereotyped as “uneducated” and have to jump through hoops to prove our worth on our job and the last thing we want to have to do is to prove our worth to an “unsupportive woman” of any race. Granted we have not done ourselves any favors, but things happen.
      Thanks for your insight on the subject. You bring up some great points. I definitely like the point “where are the black women that can see the good and help the black man to become all he can be, instead of seeing what’s he’s not?” But it is a two way street. The man has to see it in himself and realize his potential, not only his but hers to. This will allow them to grow together. Without that there will be no relationship…just relations.

      • Yes, we meet again. Thank you for the recognition of my point. It is very much appreciated. I am so glad to hear you say “But it is a two way street.. . . The man has to see his potential and hers.” Sadly, though, with the population of black men that grew up without fathers a lot of them are still trying to figure out who they are as an adult. Now don’t get me wrong we all go through this at some time in our life (but at a certain age you’re supposed to have found yourself or at least more than half of you lol). I do believe that having an absent parent, especially a father, can make this process a lot harder than it was meant to be and having a supportive woman to help him reach his full potential, I think is a necessity. Besides, men can’t do it on their own, that’s why God created woman. :-)

    • Interesting that you say that about kids with out their fathers. I actually wrote a piece about that. Don’t think I posted it though. I will post when I find it. Stay tuned.

  7. Hey Jock,

    Pretty funny article you put out there, really entertaining to read.

    I’m with you on all the points you made out there, sorry to see all the aggressive responses you’re getting, most of them comments are pretty unfair towards you man.

    Thanks for posting man

  8. everyone are missing the big picture and neglect the most important part, what to do when you decide that a woman is for you, the hard part is understanding the communication coming from the other side, you need to learn to see the sings and react to them, at the end it becomes a second nature, there is a cool article I found that covers the very basics I hope it will help you, http://bewitchingcloseness.com

  9. I’ll ask one question on the basis of “race relations”, then Ill peel a little skin off the onion.

    What do you say about a Black Man who doesn’t want a woman that looks like his mother, or children that look like him?

    This situation is deeper than I will attempt to get on a post. I will keep it as simple as possible and maybe it will trigger a desire to go further in self study.

    Black Man, you tell yourself its love. However, it is impossible for anyone to LOVE ANYONE or ANYTHING else, until you LOVE YOURSELF First. I don’t doubt the white woman’s “love” for the Black Man, she has some idea of who she is and therefore, that may be possible.

    The brother, “jockurmind24″, has reported on the information provided from him, by other black men.

    Truth is, it is time for Black Men to wake up and become that which GOD has created them to be. Our sisters, both conscious and sub-consciously are crying out for their BLACK MAN to return.

    “Black Women want to change their man, aren’t supportive, are difficult to deal with”, these are the words of a man with child like thinking.

    Look at any young child who’s parents are pushing them to be something greater, to go to new heights. You’ll find the comments are the same.

    The Black Woman’s mind has too become warped in an effort to reach and appease their man. They too have forgotten WHO they are but the Black Woman will be instrumental in the awakening of Black Men.

    The Black male, since slavery first wanted to be free, then started accepting his role, then started wanting to be like the oppressor, anything to be accepted.

    Keeping it Real:
    I see attractive white women just like the next man, physical features are physical features.

    Is it REALLY possible for a White Woman to understand a Black Man on anything other than a physical level? I think not, no matter how well intended or even truly in love they think they are.

    White Woman, if you love him, its impossible for him to love you, because he doesn’t love or even know himself. If he did, he could appreciate your beauty, but give himself to his rightful Queen.

    Thank you for reading and it wasn’t my intention to offend anyone, just speak what I know to be the truth.

    • I wasn’t going to comment , then decided against it.. I am looking for advice. I am the type of woman you described I black man rather have. I have 3 children with my KING and he refuses to marry me. I do everything pay all the bills, let him see his children ,( whom he provides no support for.) Heruns around town with various different women, his family and friends tells me to let him go but I have stayed for 7yrs being that his support and backbone. I am not perfect by no means but I treat him with respect, i give encouraging words. when he expressed the desire o run his own business I printed out business cards, flyers for him to show my support, he threw them in the trash and i nformed me to “STAY IN MY PLACE”. We separated a few years ago and he moved to another state, I paid for every visit to bring the children to see him. I paid for my personal visit . I have sent him money etc. He wants me to move to the state with him , but is not offering to help pay for anything, i i do anything he ask, naked pics, masturbtion videos, I dont date anyone i dont go out other than to work and run the children on his errands, What am I doing wrong??? why wont he marry me or at least help support our children,

      • Leslie, What are u doing WRONG? Seriously???? What are u doing right?!?! He’s using u. Where’s ur self esteem let alone ur self respect. Stop acting stupid. You just made urself look real retarded.

  10. This is just my opinion. Leslie, please tell me you are joking. If you are joking…I do not feel that this is your platform, and perhaps you would feel more comfortable sharing your story on an episode of Jerry Springer. If you are “NOT” joking…I feel strongly that you should seek treatment with a professional and not seek your answers from bloggers. I pray you make the right choice(s) going forward.

    Be blessed

  11. Not all black women are the same. You never met all the black ladies, not all of us are like that. We don’t need your money, or your nice clothes, or your big ass gold chaine. We just want love too. We want to feel wanted and all that lovey dovey stuff.

  12. I’m a black man, recent college graduate, who prefers to date white women. I was raised by a single black mother and lived in a house with four strong black women. Despite living in predominately black city, most of the women I’ve dated haven’t been black. Why?

    1.) I’ve found the characteristics of the black women who raised me in more white women. In fact, I’ve had more older black women display those traits. However, I prefer not to date older women. I love women who speak their mind, are driven, but are also soft spoken.

    2.) I’ve had more black women say they found me attractive, but then say I’m not “black enough” to date.The few black women I’ve dated accepted me as I was, but so did the white women.

    3.) Each woman I’ve dated has taught me something new, but the white women I dated introduced me to new things culturally.

    4.) I love a strong woman, but not at the expense of my manhood. The white women I’ve dated spoke their minds, but also didn’t fight me every step of the way to do so. I know not all black women are like this, because my mother isn’t. However, I think my generation’s black women are too aggressive.

    5.) The white women I dated were more open minded. They asked about my goals, encouraged me when I began pursuing my dream career, and seemed genuinely interested. Only two of the black women I dated did this same thing. I know there are white women who will laugh, try to persuade me to pursue a different career, and be just as non-supportive as the black women I’ve encountered. However, I haven’t met them yet.

    6.) I’m more physically attracted to white women. I think women from all races are beautiful, but I tend to be more attracted to slender white women. Being in the south, I’ve seen too many black women who are bigger than what I like.

    In closing, I’ve dated black and white women in my short life. However, I’ve found more of the qualities I like in white women. I don’t date white women exclusively, but I’m more likely to. I was taught to not settle for anything less than what I want, because doing so is to compromise your value. For that reason I date women of all races, but so far I’ve seen few black women my age who meet my standard.

    • Sage,

      Thanks for the reply. You say some of same things that I have gotten from my friends who date primarily white women. No matter whom I have spoken with I get the same reasons. Thanks again for your input.

  13. I’m a black man who will turn 50 in March. I finally got married just three years ago and my wife is half Asian and half white.

    However, I do have a 21-year-old son by a black woman.

    I have always dated women of every race, but in my 20 and 30s I primarily dated older black woman.

    Those were good times, as I was in college and had my own business, and the women I dated were educated and had their stuff together.

    Then I met my son’s mother. She was the polar opposite of the black women I had dated in the past, but it wad too late because I had fallen hard for her.

    I would soon learn that she was an uneducated, recovering drug addict, a former stripper, ingnorant, narrow minded, judgemental and just plain mentally ill.

    Unfortunately for me, by the time I had finally ended it 3-years later I found out that she was pregnant.

    I knew that my life would change at that point, but even I couldn’t grasp the magnitude of the worst mistake I would ever make in my life.

    Even though I paid child support to my son’s mother from day one, she made my life a living hell for the next 20 plus years. She soaked me by constantly raising my child support, while at the same time hounding me for extra money on the side, as well as treating me like I was her child.

    She raised my son not to respect me, spent every waking moment turning him against me, and she succeeded because he turned out to be exactly like her in every chicken shit aspect!

    When my son turned 18, I cut ties with both of them because all they did was use me and disrespect me.

    After that experience I began to look at black women in an entirely new light. It may be wrong, but I am jaded.

    Today black woman look at me with disdain because my wife is white and not super attractive.

    I couldn’t care less because we’re happy and comfortable. I’m doing quite well and my wife is a doctor.

  14. Hey Jock, my name is silk, and I’m a black man in my 40s. There is a great book on the history of relationships between white women and black men (before, during, and after slavery in North America).

    It’s called “White Women, Black Men, Illicit Sex in the 19-Century South”. Not only is it provocatively good reading, but it’s well researched history.

    I’ve dated just about every race of women: white, black, Asian, Hispanic and even Persian. Still, I am primarily attracted to white women, far more so than any other race.

    The reasons are myriad:

    * White women are easier to talk with
    * White women treat you with more respect
    * White women don’t immediately ask you to pay their bills
    * White women are more open sexually
    * White women and black men share an historic bond

    There are down sides to some white women as well:

    * White women can be more promiscuous
    * White women tend to age faster than other races
    * They may reach out to you after white men have dogged them out

    Most black women believe the stereotype that black men mostly reach out to white women because white women are status symbols, and because black men can shame the black woman by doing so.

    Even still, black women can date white men at their discretion, but still go out of their way to sneer at black men with white women. I’ve been out with very attractive white women, and black women would see us and say she was only with me because she was a slut. I’ve dated thick and average white women and black women would see us and say she was only with me because the white girl was desperate.

    Keep in mind, none of the white women was with ever responded to this ignorant rage. I’ve never even heard white women chastise white men in my presence, when we would see so many white men out with Asian girls. The white women I dated were just not petty like that. That’s something that black women should keep in mind.

    I just learned a long time ago that I need to do what’s right for me. I wasn’t put on this earth to satisfy black women with the choices I make in my personal life; and by the same token I allow black women the autonomy to date whomever they choose, because I’m an adult and not a ghetto, ignorant, hood rat!

    History tells us that black women had it much better than black males (and in some cases.. even white females). Allow me to explain. White men (like founding father Thomas Jefferson), spawned offspring with their female slaves.

    White men would make them lay at the foot of the bed that he shared with his white woman, and these black female slaves were referred to as “bed-warmers”. These same black women were often allowed to run the entire household, exercizing as much if not more power than her white female counterpart.

    This is something that black women should remember, the next time they are tempted to refer to white women as “cave-bitches”.

    White men have historically treated black men like subhumans and completely disrepected white women. Is it any wonder why white women and black men have always shared a bond, all of before, during, and after slavery?

    What black women need to remember is that what you see today had been going on longer than white men were raping black female slaves. White women have always bonded and belonged to the black man, out of spite for the white man and his selfishness and abject cruelty to anyone that wasn’t a black female or a white male.

    Black women should remember that, the next time they talk about a white woman “white privilege”… even though in 2014 the a super intelligent white woman still makes only a fraction of what an ordinary white man can command.

    The white women may not be perfect, but she belongs to black men. That’s just something everyone already knows… and if not, you know now, so just deal with it!

    • Not so sure I’d go that far as to say any one type of woman belongs to a particular type of man, but I see the points you’re making. I for one will check out the book. I think what it comes down to is you’re attracted to who you’re attracted to, black or white. However, your points were pretty solid imo.

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