So today we’ve decided to take a stroll down memory lane by reposting a past blog.  For those of you reading this for the first time….Enjoy!  For those getting a refresh…maybe you’ll notice something you didn’t catch the first time. 
The next time I get involved with a woman the first thing I’m gonna do is give her amnesia. Well, not complete memory loss.  I’m thinkin something along the lines of the little box with the extremely bright light that Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones used in the Men in Black movies.  It would only delete the evil “Ex” Files. Maybe then I can start with a clean slate and not have to deal with the ghosts of boyfriends past.
Women bring so much baggage into the situation. I feel like when I meet a woman I already have two strikes against me. It’s like getting a brand new house with a past due mortgage.  Just because the fools before me were no good liars and cheaters doesn’t mean I will follow suit.  All men are not created equal.  Just because you are accustomed to guys breaking your heart doesn’t mean you should never give it to anyone else.  A broken heart is hard to mend but you can’t take it out on the next guy.  You can’t put yourself on lockdown just because you had a bad experience in the love department.  If you have the pad lock on your heart with the secret service doing security, when a good thing comes along you will never know because he wont be able to get in.  Getting hurt is always a possibility when you’re in a relationship.  That’s a risk you have to take in the game of love. 
I wasn’t the one who never had time for you.  It wasn’t me who didn’t care. I didn’t break your heart.  Those are the words that I said to my ex girlfriend that morning that she called me and broke up our happy situation.  A day I still remember like it was yesterday.
On that day a woman whom I had a love for that exceeded any other broke my heart. To me it was the greatest thing i’ve ever known.  To her it was the most terrifying.   She was not afraid of lions, tigers, and bears but she was terrified of falling in love with me. She couldn’t bear another heartache. So she felt it was best to cut ties and move on. In her mind everyone that she lets in is going to hurt her. If I had one wish it would be that she would have given us a chance. Now I must put that in my rearview mirror and move on.  It’s hard to love again and open your heart, but you have to brush yourself off and get back in the game.
~Cruz D’Ville
 Now I don’t mind you having memories of your ex, I’d just appreciate it if you don’t compare me to her.  I will not cook, clean , or sex you the same way she used to.  I am my own person and I don’t need any reminders about the way your ex chose to do things. 
When a man has been hurt he goes into protection mode just like a woman.  They typically spend this phase sexing and dogging a number of women trying to erase any traces of the heartbreak they still carry.  It is always said that women hold grudges and carry baggage but I think guys transport more luggage than a Southwest flight.  It takes forever for a man to overcome the remnants of heartbreak. 
While it would make life easier if both men and women didn’t dwell on past hurt and pain from relationships, it is those experiences that help to shape and mold us.  Heartbreak sometimes builds character! While no one wants to experience it, we all will at some point in our lives. 
I’ve never been one to look for fault in a person.  I don’t expect my current boo to cheat on me because my last one did.  I don’t expect my potential papi to lie and be decietful because that’s what a past love chose to do.  You have a clean slate with me.
I’m not scared of lions, and tigers, and bears, nor am I scared of loving again.  A bit guarded at times but rightfully so.  Most women realize that you can’t continue to expect the worst otherwise that’s all you attract.  We just need a man to show and prove that he’s diffrent than the rest.  You don’t have to move mountains or have x-ray vision.  You just have to prove yourself worthy of the keys to our hearts.
As for men and their baggage, I just ask that when you run into me, Miss.Right, you don’t hold on to the wrong so long that I hand in my passport and change flights!
~Mahogany Princess

11 thoughts on “Lions, Tigers and Bears Revisted!

  1. Mahogany Princess, I totally agree with your comments! Also, their is a double standard with men! They can behave in any manner they choose, and we are expected to forgive and not hold a grudge! Unfortunately, we are not given the same grace!

    • No we are not Ebony Queen! We can forgive but not forget. Don’t think men have mastered the forgive part and they certainly won’t forget! It’s their pride and ego that some men can’t seem to put aside.

  2. Wow…..really well said (on both parts). I truly enjoy reading ya’lls perspectives on this blog. Good stuff…makes me think, puts things in perspective, and opens up other viewpoints I otherwise wouldn’t see. This particular blog had me going ‘hmmmppf!’ and ‘preach’, & ‘ain’t that the truth?’ several times. lol Ya’ll have a loyal reader/follower now…may not always comment, but I’m reading and agreeing along the way. Kudos on the expressions…

    • Kristene we really appreciate you taking the time to read our little blog!! We just try to discuss topics we feel are important and express both sides of the issue. Please pass the word along to friends and family.

  3. Men do not forget and in this case to lose a loved one is something that will stay with us. When men love we truely do love. However we do not compare the next to the ex. Most men, not to say that there are some that dont, come into a new relationship with an open slate. Its typically the woman who generates the comparisons. This is one reason why men do not like talking about there past with their current. If I tell the new that the old did things this way and how I just loved it, the new may get offended. Same concept applies to Men if their new talks about their ex. All I am saying is that men have their issues and women have their issues. There are some things that I loved with my ex and somethings that you loved with yours. So why don’t we just figure out the things that we love with one another and leave the past the past. If we dwell on the past too much then there can never be a future because you are not allowing yourself to grow…..together.

    • Jock- I have to disagree. Men do compare. They may not come right out and say it but when they get used to things being done a certain way they don’t always make an easy transition. Hell, men compare us to their momma’s all the time…trust me when I tell you some do so when it comes to an ex as well. lol
      I agree that both parties have to leave the past in the past in order to give a new relationship a chance. You won’t get any argument from me there.

      • Yes Mohogany we do compare. I know personally i do. I do it for both negative and positive things. I always tell the new girl what the old girls messed up at in hopes that she will learn from that. They always say “O i would never do that” and they always do the same thing. On the other hand, the positive things about those whom i have dated i always keep a note of in the back of my mind. If a young lady is in the running to be my queen she has to match or exceed those things.

  4. Ok. Well I do not compare anyone to any of my ex because I do not want my new girl comparing me to her ex. Subconciously there will be some comparison on both parts, but a direct reference to that comparison doesn’t do any good. Instead of saying my ex use to do this for me, say to me well baby I would like it if you did this or let me show you how I like this done. Even though these may be some things that your ex did for you, I will never know nor do I want. I just want you to be happy and to make you feel good, feel like the queen that you are!

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