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I kind of want to get back to having fun. We have been dealing with some serious topics for awhile so I figured I’d just calm it down a bit. Have you ever wanted to get rid of a person but just couldn’t find the words to do it. Well here are some words and better yet, some actions that may work.

1.  Forget about all days that are important including dates. Pretend as if you always forgot. When she asks about the why you forgot just act as if the date didn’t matter in the first place and start talking about sports.

2. When another female walks by make sure she gets all of your attention. Look at her from top to bottom and say “Daaaammmmnnnnnnn.” Make sure to cause a scene. Ask you girl did she see the ass on that one or say “that’s the finest girl I have ever laid eyes on.”

3. Call her by another girl’s name. Not just a girl but many girls. Call her Candice one minute, Sherry the next. While you are at it call her her by her sister’s or her best friend’s name. Better yet call her by another girls name during sex.

4. Talk about the girls that you have slept with. Call them all by name and say things like “I think I slept with Jenna” and “Damn, I can’t remember her name but I tore the ass up.” Also when she names one of her friends say you slept with her too.

5. Annoy the hell out of her. Always appear needy. When she says she wants to go somewhere make up a reason why she can’t go.

6. Always ask for oral but never give it. Say something like “I do do not do that. That shit is nasty.” Then roll over and go to sleep.

7. Leave a used condom on the bed from another f-buddy. When she asks what is that. Say, “What does it look like. Its a condom.”

8. Be a slob. Lay around in your underwear all day and do nothing. Take off your clothes and wherever they fall they stay. Never wash dishes. As a matter of fact, don’t clean shit.

9. Ask her to have a threesome. I know. Some might want to do this, but ask for the third party to be her mom. If she agrees then damn. I don’t know what to tell you but do it. Especially if the mom is fine!!!

10. Last but not least, hit her with that Ole R. Kelly line: “You remind me of something. I just can’t think of what it is.” After pondering that for a few. Say, “I know what it is. You remind me of the flu. Your ass is hard to get rid of. What can I take so that you will just go away.”

If none of these work then you just have a crazy bitch and you are in it for life!!!

NOTE: DO NOT TRY ANY OF THESE THINGS OR YOUR ASS WILL GET KILLED!!!!

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