I am going to get straight to the point with this one. I am a dark, average height, bald headed black man with a beautiful smile (so I am told) and a nice physique. With that being said, the stigma that I get is that I do not date sisters. I have been told that I look like the type that only dates white women. Not true, however most guys that fit my physical description do. I kind of wanted to dive into that some. So why do so many black men date white women? It may get a little touchy here but it is what it is and this is what I got from some of the men living this reality. Here are the top 3 reasons.
1. White women are easier to deal with. There are no over the top semantics that drive some brothers crazy with white women. Upon meeting a white woman, there is no trying to impress her with your wardrobe, shoes, etc. White women actually take the time to talk to you and carry on a conversation and not judge a person based on his physical appearance. They actually get to know the person before the appearance. Brothers feel that in order to get a sister’s attention they have to be wearing over priced clothes, wearing expensive colognes, and meet a certain “type” that they like. In any case, you might not be tall enough, dark enough, light enough, clothes aren’t the right type; something. This automatically dismisses you in some sisters’ eyes. Black women have a certain “type” and most don’t break this type casting until they realize that the types that they are into aren’t any good or just not a viable long term solution. White women look for intrinsic qualities that are embedded deep within. Their man might not be the best looker but he is good to them. White women like it rough, and I am not talking about in the bedroom. So what if you don’t shave. The way they see it is that in 30 years everyone will look the same.
2. White women do not try to change men. One of the biggest things I heard is that white women will not try to change their man. They know what they sign up for when they get into the relationship. If they are with a player, they know it. If they are with a sloth, they know it. If they are with a drunk, they know it. If they have a partier, they know it. Sisters: if they have a player, they can change him. If they have a sloth, they can change him. If they have a drunk, they can change him. If they have a partier, they can change him. Fact is no one can change a man. A man can only change himself. Most change when a white woman is involved because she is not pressuring him to do so. The brother soons realize that his woman, the white woman, just wants him to be himself. So he, himself, gradually changes for the better. Now the sister is pressuring him to change and let’s face it, us black men are stubborn as hell. The more you push the more we push back. It’s basic physics; equal and opposite reaction. The force that you, as a sister, are putting on us to change is the same force we are going to apply on you not to change. So the result is that we get nowhere.
3. White women are supportive. One of the most desirable reasons for a black man dating a white woman is that white women are supportive. White women will support there man in whatever he wants to do. They never do what some sisters do and belittle the man. Sisters talks much junk to their men especially when they think their men are not living up to their potential. When sisters tell their man he “aint” nothing, or when is he gonna do something with his life, or they can do much better than him, some men believe that and that’s the persona that they take on. And have you ever noticed that when his persona changes and he gets a little confidence he always leaves the one he’s with. Not a coincidence. Now he feels like he can do better than her and he leaves. On the contrary, white women grow, or atleast pretend to grow, with their mate. No down talking, only uplifting. A little confidence can go along way with a man. As much as we don’t want to admit it, we like our woman to stroke our egos a little. It makes us feel, well like we can overcome anything.
These are just a few reasons why black men date white women. Some others were that white women are more submissive and understanding. The one that really stuck out to me though was that white women do not put brothers through the ropes if they have a kid and the relationship doesn’t work. Meaning they do not try to dangle the kid over their heads like a carrot. Anyway, sisters this is just an opinionated synopsis and is not a depiction of all sisters or white women. Myself, I love me some sisters, but I also have seen the way some sisters treat their men. In most cases good men. I hear sisters say they want to be treated like a queen, but in order to be treated as such you have to present yourself as someone worthy of holding the throne, someone of royalty, otherwise you are just going to be the concubine until the real queen comes along. And she just might be a white queen.